Just Adulting ~
Happy Thursday Good People!!
If I told you that the cold I had in Dec, Jan and Feb is still lingering this 14th day of March would you believe me?
I know , I have rested , I have done everything from ginger, tea, lemon, black seed oil, ACV, Theraflu, Antibiotics, Cough Syrup with codeine and even a small taste of ...Nevermind you get the point. So I ask that each of you stretch your hands towards the computer screen and say a prayer of healing in the might name of Jesus/Creator/Healer of your soul because this unattractive fatigue and runny nose is hindering my sexy! :) But before y'all start crying or sending me rest mail, my doctor assured me I am OK and this too shall pass soon.
Remember when we thought being a kid was hard? Like seriously waking up to your bath or shower water ran , toothpaste already on toothbrush , clothes laid out , breakfast prepared and lunch packed or coming home after school to a little homework and a cooked meal... access to a doctor and an in-house one when you were too sick to move..... And the most you had to do was keep a clean room and wash a few dishes.... But we said “This is Hard" ..... I can't wait to grow up! HA! Says who! Do you take it back now? Seriously, do you ever think about it? I was walking around my house this week like who said being an ADULT was better! I am here to tell you they LIED! Whomever tricked us in to believing that when we got older it would all be better they mislead the young and I have questions?
What I have come to realize is that lots of the generations before us were not as OPEN as we are. They were not as transparent. They hid so much from us that now we live as adults whom sometimes feel as if what we have or are experiencing is something new. All some of us saw growing up was the work ethic of our parents and grandparents. We saw them grind, spread love, serve GOD and provide PERIODT! Anything experienced in between was not for a child to know because after all a child must stay in a child's place, right? (Inserts sarcasm) But the in between was the most important part, and I had to tell my parents recently that I am upset about the things they did NOT share. While much of it was to protect my youth they failed to realize that some of it would protect my adulthood if they had shared just a little bit more. A few years ago I shared with a group of young girls during a field trip to a homeless shelter that they too could be in the shoes of the people we were there to serve. A lot of the kids at the time lacked engagement and had the " I would never be in this situation" because my parents this or that and it irritated me enough to have to keep it real with kids who had no clue of the life they were really living. They had no clue that some of their parents were on the brink of a breakdown. A breakdown attached to the hardships of adulthood like, caring for children with little money, a day away from a shutoff notice, death of loved ones and personal shame or insecurity. For this reason, I want to do two things today...... I want to encourage Parents to have the tough conversations as your children transition in age and I want to encourage you BIG KIDS, my pals and friends that are sitting in the seat of the counselor uncertain or unsure, the ones who still have living parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents to ask the questions that will connect the life dots you may be missing. I know we like to sweep everything under the rug and keep it in like “I’m good”, “I don't want to know" but I guarantee when you kneel down to pray or lay with tears in your eyes at night you have at some point asked yourself "WHY". Most of the whys that come with adulting are connected to the conversations nobody saw fit to have with you when you were young. We have to face our challenges different in 2019 if we want to once and for all break generational curses and create a legacy of trust, honesty, good health and wealth!
You struggle with finances and think WHY ME..... Did your MOM or DAD have financial problems growing up? How did they handle it?
You struggle with Depression and Anxiety and think No one in my family ever had this problem..... Guess what, they did you just did not know!
You have trust issues as far back as you could remember..... Why? Did somebody lie to you? Or did all the women/men and your family have trust issues with people because their parents were strict and did not trust anyone?
Insecurities, you never think you are good enough, look good enough, performed well enough ....Because nobody addressed the good stuff only the bad growing up. (This one here was a part of my story in a different way, see I always got good grades so there was no reward from my father for the good stuff I did because I always did good...but my sister who was bad if she was to do good oh isssa party so for the longest I felt like it never mattered so I had 0 expectations for celebration believe it or not) But the minute I did something outside of the norm ohhhhh it was a big deal, the disappointment was real... or every-time you got dressed the family gotta check you out to point out what was wrong 1st and what was right 2nd? How do you think that translated when I became an adult woman in my early 20s?
It's all connected people.....It's all connected...... Now before anyone feels the need to challenge today's share I will say this.... This is not to blame anyone for what and who you are...but this is to gain understanding of the pieces of you that don't feel normal. For the areas where you think nobody would understand and that you are the 1st of your kind. Everybody and I mean EVERYBODY is working to do better, live better and gather themselves from day to day Adulthood. I simply wanted to provide this word hug in a way that you can understand there is a root cause to everything and be it family, environmental or bad choices of your own you are NOT alone! I want to live in a society where people no longer have to suffer in silence. SPEAK UP!
Have an amazing Thursday!