Now and Later ~
I have to apologize last week came and went and I don’t even remember if and what I posted because that’s just how busy life was both mentally and physically! Coming off of the dope Unstoppable women’s conference I think I had to regroup before I was able to share again! It was exactly what I wanted, what I needed….haaa you get my drift. It was just amazing and even more amazing that one of my good good girlfriends flew across a few states to join me on the journey!
I pray that each of you are having a great week thus far and if for some reason you are not that you would dig deep inside and find something to smile about remembering that there is someone out there likely going through something even worse off then you! (Not sure who that was for but find your joy and be grateful for the present)~
Now let’s get to the good stuff! If you are in Nashville, TN this week get geeeked it’s homecoming week and for the first time in many years I will NOT be in attendance but my dance partners and the rest of the crew will represent like only we do I just know it, So have fun for me. Folks, Life is just GOING! Have you ever felt happy yet overwhelmed and slightly nerved at the same time? Well that’s me currently I am full of joy and peace but still battling an achy yet painful corner of anxiety hence my life is shifting and changing right before my eyes. This year I made plans a lot of them as we all do but unlike some people I BELIEVED that each of those plans would become reality! Now there were many times that my belief got shaky because it was not happening quick enough or by my written time-table, I even took a few losses be it financial, relationships and deaths yet I still believed with tears and some uncertainty that I could complete these plans because everything experienced were traps to get me distracted and off –balance. If I am honest, some months I was distracted…..other weeks I was off-balance and at one –point I stopped working towards the plans and goals. One would think well how can you go through that and feel that way and still call it belief….my answer: Because no matter how I felt or what I did or lack thereof my belief that I WOULD achieve it never changed. I just stopped focusing on when and dealt with my NOW. I want to take this moment to encourage someone who is struggling with the NOW and the later. Just because you are having writers block, creative depression, turmoil at home and or trouble on the job …..It has limited ability to paralyze what you earnestly believe for your later! The toughest thing is rarely going through a thing it’s the ability to see past a thing! That’s why the unwavering and steadfast belief that lives on the inside of you is most important because no matter what external things take place it never changes.
For the past 15 days, myself along with a few others have embarked upon a 40 day FAST journey entitled the surrender fast. We had to be willing to make some sacrifices for a total of 40 days and believe that in return for said sacrifice certain things in our lives would change. Unlike some fast, it’s not your holy roll, don’t eat a thing let’s live like they did in the ancient days ….this is more like let’s deal with the root cause of the things that are holding u back from your next level. Let’s rid negative thoughts for 40 days, let’s eliminate fear and the triggers surrounding our fearful thoughts……let’s forgive ourselves and take these 40 days to surrender our unforgiveness and in the process if food has been your crutch then yes eliminate some of that.
Here’s my truth moment, There was a time if it were a good day “Let’s go have a drink”, if it were a bad day “I need a drink, it’s been one of those days” this had become my norm. YES, ME! For the past 9 months that was my thing a little heavier than normal. Now before y’all go being messy, NO I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC lol … I was merely trading my sorrows into a glass/cocktail or 3 more frequently. I have always been a social drinker but somewhere on my journey a void was created and nothing could fill it like …..The drink ….So during these 40 days I had to surrender the “drink”. In doing so I realized that many times we never stop believing in the plans, we simply get distracted or disappointed during the process leading to the plan! Think of the women and men who have lost a spouse be it physically or mentally …. You will always hear them say “I won’t ever get married again” and 2-3 years later they are married again …why? Because though they were disappointed by the process the internal belief and plan to be an awesome husband or wife did not die with the roadblock in the process. Take a student who is enrolled in school excited to start medical school and boom they find out mid-year they cannot financially afford it, they take a semester off to work and save and mid-semester they loose a parent or spouse, delay, delay, delay and at this point the student is saying “I won’t ever finish that degree, I can’t do it” ….. Not realizing this was just his/her temporary present within the process ….few years later they are graduating with honors same degree despite the roadblock. By now you get my point …. There will be major roadblocks, you will experience delayed gratification and feel like you will never complete the plan or goal but I my friends am a living witness of the power in belief beyond your NOW. There were times that I thought how will I do that in DC? There is no way I will LOVE again…… I don’t feel like studying for that exam….There is no way he will open that door and BOOM when I got over my now and realized that all that I experienced was necessary to my later I began to rejoice! YOU MUST surrender something! I am not sure who this is for, what you are going through or waiting on it will still come to pass but you must come to grips with your temporary discomfort. You must believe it will all work out for your good in the end if you sacrifice your vice!
My vice was clouding my judgement in a way that I was treating losses like wins and wins like losses and then I woke up! I experienced what I once thought was a loss last week….it was not until Day 12 of the fast that I realized my LOSS was a WIN because it is making room for what I believe to take place! What areas do you need to free some space up? What shall you surrender in your NOW to get what’s coming LATER?? This year is NOT over yet and there is still room for your plans to manifest!
Do you believe it can happen?
Grab some GODFIDENCE as Bishop Walker would call it and GO GET YOUR STUFF!
PREPARE, the season of AMAZING has just begun! It won’t be perfect, it will feel like a war, you will cry, you will fight there will be some wins and some loss but you will survive I promise!