Happy Monday People!! 😊
Coming off this amazing yet abnormal Mother’s Day weekend …. I have to say I have been an emotional wreck . …I have cried more the past week than I have all year and I know we are only 5 months in but to keep it real it’s felt like much longer. From the injustice of another young black man Ahmaud Aubrey who was simply on a neighborhood jog, to the untimely death of loved ones, front-liners , R & B and Hip-Hop music mogul Andre Harrell, Little Richard and then to top it off Betty Wright on Mother’s day…… What gives, right??? Have you found yourself asking GOD, what is really going on here? I know I have…. It’s crossed my mind more than once….as much as I trust him I can’t help but to wonder ….what the plan is…………but I must also admit for every moment of despair and sorrow there was a glimmer of hope, light and love this weekend too….. Nikki Giovanni and Angela Davis set my soul on fire Friday night and reminded me that I was the daughter of Queens ….that living in the past should be a sin, being YOURSELF is the key to long life and champagne is totally good for you…drink a glass per day…..Michelle Obama’s Becoming documentary refueled childhood dreams and confirmed that words can hurt but they can also help….and last but NOT least Auntie Jill Scott and Cousin Erykah Badu provided some much needed sound therapy and that my friends was just the right amount of magic needed to get me through this Mother’s day weekend.
I think I’ve said it before, but this reset time or moment of stillness we have been given to reflect the past 2 months has been quite interesting. I found myself sitting between virtual church services yesterday in my favorite window drinking my tea at a daze at one point and out of nowhere tears began to roll. I could not for the life of me control them, so I let them flow. As the moment passed, I questioned myself because to my knowledge I was not sad, I was not upset, so what was it …. it hit me I was FULL. Have you ever been so FULL that it became uncomfortable, you know the kind where the food was so good, you should have stopped long before the plate was clean and now you are stuffed? Well that’s how I felt from the spiritual food I had been fed through the first 3 services online. Yes, 3 and that’s just the AM on my quarantine Sundays because I mean Sunday is for church and church is LIFE (lol). I do a total of 5 or 6 each Sunday …and each one serves me in a different way, but yesterday before I could log on to #4, I had to process and deal with what I had eaten up. I mean it was Mother’s Day, I could not help but to think of my angels in heaven, my grandma, my great-grandma, and my aunt… I then began to think of my mom and how Mother’s Day may have felt for her not being on our normal adventure and not having her own mom here on earth…. And the many others in my life who feel the emptiness related to Mother’s Day and how difficult it could be for someone else to see all of the mommy daughter/son posts while still dealing with their own sense of loss…. and then the big tears dropped when I began to think about my own life and the children I chose not to have as I approach a milestone birthday it became a lot to chew!!!?? I felt like a child sitting at a table, eyes bigger than my stomach, trying to force everything I had put on my plate down my throat at once….and I heard the voice of my grandmother say “ Don’t eat so fast” .
I want to encourage each of you as you go into this week to be careful how much you put on your plate all at once spiritually, mentally, and physically. The meals that you are attempting to digest have been sitting for quite some time like a fine aged wine that started out as grape juice. See grape juice, you drink with ease, it’s light and it’s side effects are limited ..though it may send you to the bathroom a few times it has no power over your mental …oh but if you take that same grape juice and allow it to sit and take it through the fermentation process it begins to gain a different potency over time. The more it ages the more it effects your ability to consume too much of it. If you get too full you become unnoticeable to even yourself. The same things happen when you try to process life experiences, past decisions, and future plans all at the same time. I know now why they call it 3 – course meals and 5- course meals now because if they give it to you all at once you would be overwhelmed and a little too anxious.
We cannot handle all of life’s food at once. Space it out this week…. Do not tackle it all in 1 setting …You are doing yourself, your family, your heart and soul a disservice when you do! It’s ok to go back for seconds , it’s even ok to skip the dessert and save it for another day ….but whatever you do don’t eat too fast and don’t get so full that the taste, the nourishment(revelation) of the food ends up going to waste. I am learning how much I can eat at one time and in reality, it’s not very much before I get sick or it does not taste as good as I thought it would. Digestive health is important, keep that in mind anytime this week you feel yourself getting too FULL!
I could go on, but I will stop there …. The ability to process is a journey ……take it one bite at a time. ( not sure who this reminder is for but I'm sure there is 1, lol)
Have an amazing week on purpose! 😊