Ask me if I care ~
Jumpin right to it today...
I’ve never been one to care what others think of me, I really have always been kind of a lane keeper, stay in mine, you stay in yours. Surprisingly enough people would say “You don’t care enough” and I recall saying “Why should I? “In that moment I realized how completely insensitive I could be viewed from time to time. Meanwhile, I considered it minding my business and just doing me. The older I get the more I concern myself NOT with what others think or how they perceive me but more about what I think about how I am being viewed by others. Now some of you may NOT see the difference but there is a big difference. I care if my true character is reflected in my actions. I care that I am making my parents proud to call me their daughter , I care if I make people feel good, bad or indifferent ….I honestly care about that now and so should you believe it or not. Not that I am responsible for how they feel but I am responsible for my role in the life of others and the things attached to me that impact those associated to me.
The past few months I have had several people close to me make reference of my lifestyle and my lack of availability or time here and there. I found myself becoming irritated at one point because I will NOT apologize for being me or for working in a capacity that keeps me busy. What I will consider apologizing for is how my lifestyle may be affecting the role I play or use to play in your life. Ask me if I care ? That was my attitude until I realized how caring and character worked together.
Earlier this year I was blessed to gain two new mentees ages 11 and 12 who have completely changed my life the past few months. They are sweet and crazy, fun and hungry lol but most of all they are brutally honest and you can’t help but to love them. They watch me intently my every move, from what I wear to what I say to what I do and to how accessible or lack thereof I am. The oldest of two said “Ms. Rochonda I don’t think I want to be as busy as you when I grow up” I asked, why? , she replied “You are never home”!—(this made me feel some kind of way).
Here’s a case where most people would not care what this kid thinks of their adult life but if how she perceives it affects my role in her life it should be a concern to me. We have some folks in our lives where their opinions and thoughts don't really bother you. While that is well and good there is another group of people close to you where it should concern you enough to examine yourself.
In a secondary situation, I recall dating a guy and he said “I know what others say about you, but what do you think I would say about you” ** inserts a look and side –eye** silently thinking who cares I know me. Now take it this was said directly after a very spoiled moment of mine and some heated discussion so honestly it did NOT bother me but a few weeks later I recall saying u know what my reactions to situations and how I make others feel from time to time should concern me more in the moment if I really care.
Lastly and most recently on the reverse , I had a coworker that I only see a few times per year who literally burns my buttons and we likely have a very indifferent or not so nice perception of each other beyond work duties and ethic …Do I care about what he/she thinks ? No and why is this different you may say? , Well it’s different because my role is to work with he/she not like he/she. It is an assignment that is temporary and not going to make or break the success of my being. You have to make up in your mind today to consider the thoughts of those around you that matter! Like my mentee, your children’s thoughts matter because we want to lead them by example, Your spouse or significant other’s thoughts matter rather you like to admit it or not. The guy/gal at work who you feel is attacking your character or your ability to do work has no reign over who you are so be careful not to give any ownership to those whose perceptions serve no purpose in your life! These scenarios probably sound familiar to many of you, I am just woman enough to admit I had to be honest and realize that I cared enough about some of these thoughts to make a change.
Caring what others think is NOT always a negative thing! It’s only those subscriptions to the negative thoughts of you from others that are wrong. Think about the affirmations of life, “You are beautiful”, “You are Kind”, “You will succeed” when other people say these things to you, you believe it right? When folks call you “ Mean” , “ Ugly” a “ Failure” do you take ownership of those thoughts or are you reminded of who you see in the mirror, who you really are and all the other positive thoughts that have helped mold and shape the character of who you are. Everybody won’t always have good things to say about you, they all won’t always like you but know that none of that matters when you are on assignment! It actually concerns me more now when I hear people say " I really don't care what they think of me" , I was one of them until I realized I had to care in order to care!! You will get that later!
It's all pretty simple folks the closest people to you are normally just messengers from above , take some time and consider their thoughts and concerns wholeheartedly it could actually benefit you in the long run when coming from the right people! ( discernment is key)
Caring helps produce CHARACTER!
Ask me if I care? Yes , in some cases I do~
Have a good day luvs!