Deal With IT!
Good evening Family!!!!
All week I have been gearing up to share and I am immediately stopped in my tracks...by no one but me of course...I wrote a piece called WIN, LOSE or DRAW , Expect the Unexpected and most recently Life after Death but even through the course of writing those pieces I chose not to share....WHY , because I am both my biggest critic and sometimes my worst enemy. How many of you have heard the statement " Hurt People Hurt People" ... In the past I thought this was limited to people who had been wronged or hurt by others but how many of you know that sometimes the HURT people that PEOPLE hurt are THEMSELVES ( you and me) . So if I am hurt I may not necessarily hurt another person but in some way shape or form you may find yourself in a hurt situation caused by the hurt person named : ------------------ ( Insert your name). This thing was powerful and hit me like a ton of bricks this evening as I reflected on the past 3 weeks of my own life. I am HAPPY... MOTIVATED...INSPIRED yet HURT and could not understand why or HOW until this very moment. Some may say R. Rene' we see your life via IG (instagram, for those folks that may not get the acronym) you workout, your well-traveled , your encouraging and you have fun doing it what could be causing you hurt??
I had an opportunity to spend a evening with a great childhood friend and we were just amazed at our personal growth from 11 years old to now and he jokingly said " Chonda you have been like Olivia Pope since the sandbox girl" in a joking manner ....he said just tough and slightly cold. I was shocked cause I always thought I was pretty nice...he's like yes you were but for anyone attempting to get close to you, you were very guarded and I had to agree it was very true.
That moment called for a brief SELF-ASSESSMENT, SELF -CHECK if you will I realized that there is some past pain, hurt, dwellings within that cause me to HURT myself be it sabotage, alienation or being guarded and very Olivia Popish. How many of you saw the last few episodes of Scandal...You had never seen Olivia Pope off her A game until it began to hit home the way it did ...her dad is back in her life, her mom alive and killing people she loves, Jake well Jake being Jake and her team falling apart due to even their own personal stuff. With no guidance or leadership from her because all of a sudden she is connected to things and more emotional then ever and now all that she thought she knew she doesn't and all that she wishes for looks out of reach and she can't even explain why she feels this way. For the first time in 3 seasons you saw Olivia cry, break and say IDK....because beneath her strength and the sharp white coats of her day and flawless hair she had hurt hidden and her hands were not really clean and she finally had to face it...why? because if not she was going to self-destruct and lose some of the sanity she possibly had left and a life of HURT. Many of us take the Olivia Pope road in our everyday lives right in DC, TN, MI, FL, NJ, IL ( just add your state) ....and it's time to intercept this state of hurt head first and simply DEAL WITH IT!
What does it mean to DEAL WITH IT? It's almost like going to a recovery meeting like AA. You have to have a AAA meeting with yourself constantly to keep you from falling in too deep. I promise if you follow these few steps you will see yourself in a new light, you will understand GOD's power to heal your broken places and you will deny your hurt self access to your whole self in an effort to live full, vibrant and happy at all times. Does it happen suddenly no it takes time but you have to start somewhere. I find myself repeating these steps over and over again until it resonates in my soul that there's a peace that comes with AAA and if I just continue to remind myself of the pain it has caused and the things I have lost as a result then my best practices will be to believe the change is happening and walk it out unguarded, selfless, open, emotionally healthy and FREE because it indeed has been dealt with!
ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT- Stop pretending things, people or choices have not hurt you. Start by saying ____________ really did happen to me and ASK GOD to heal your Broken wounds/mental space.
ADMIT IT- Admit that you had a hand in the hurt- Many times we like to play victim. How many of you are bold enough to say. I played a part in my own hurt?! People can only do what we allow ( Message) so think about it ....You had the power to eliminate it and you failed not to....so in this case ( I'm Guilty too)- chalk it up as lesson learned it will bless you to be honest with self-first! ABOLISH - ABOLISH the negative thoughts about the hurt - Bring the saga to an END. Begin to think of ways to use it as a catalyst to produce positive outcomes in the future.
I could go on but I believe you get the message. I can only say this to each of you because I am DEALING WITH IT! This message was not meant to be deep but to be honest and transparent in life lessons and I honestly pray that each of you that can benefit from clearing hurt from your life calendar in an effort to move forward will digest these words and release the hurting of self immediately. Go into this weekend with a clear mind and clean your internal house from hurt to heart. Your life really does depend on it!
Love each of you with my whole-heart!